Our family is being tested lately, not sure why so much pain is being inflicted on us but its just becoming overwhelming. I don't want to go into details but our family recently learned something that had been kept a secret for the past 7 months - it has caused alot of confusion, heartbreak, sadness, shock, anger and hurt. As I said I don't want to go into details but I do ask for your prayers as our entire family is going through this.
Personally this weekend I have been tested and shown what happens in a divorce, my two kiddos spent a weekend away with their father and his family. This was the first time my kiddos have spent away for more then one night with anyone other then myself or my Mom so it was alot of just letting go. Thankfully they seemed to have had a good time, I have done alot of biting my tongue - when I get phone calls at 11pm and the kiddos are still awake and about to eat doughnuts at the doughnut store. Also when they called and said they didn't end up leaving to come home until 1:30pm versus the 11am departure time I had been told. Normally I am not the type of person who bites their tongue but I am learning that needs to be done to keep things civil. As bad as this is going to sound I am relieved we will be moving up to Rhode Island in a few weeks, I am so angry at my husband right now that just the sound of his voice irritates me. I know anger is one of the many things I will be feeling and I think distance is going to hopefully work for us, he will realize the mistakes he has made and I hope will appreciate all that the girls and I have sacrificed for him.
In the meantime I have a ton of things to organize and plan - the packing alone is just overwhelming, we aren't taking everything but man what we are taking seems like alot. I have found a storage unit and will be working on getting everything boxed up and ready to take over. I have quite a few things I need to list on craigslist - TV, beds, dressers and a few other things. Basically I'm going to be moving almost everything from the kitchen, toys, books, clothes, Christmas decor, dining table and other personal items north.
Time to go enjoy my last bit of time without the kids, I'm hitting up the grocery store alone - a rare and exciting adventure.
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I am so sorry honey. Starting over is a difficult thing, but if you ever need to vent or have some one to listen to whatever is going on, feel free to e-mail me. I am thinking of you, and wishing you and your kiddos all the best!
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Jen - thank you. Its so good to know there are people there when I need them, I might just be e-mailing you. :)
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